My impression of the trip
My trip to Chennai was very fruitful and there was no inconvenience at all except for the expenses (otherwise would be less) and the minor pain which didn't bother me in the least.
There was a small story. I have been quarreling with baba for a long time and on tuesday (July 12th) I beated him. Means I gave punches on his image in the book. I was so angry that baba is not answering me at all and if at all he gives, the same old and gramphone recorded sort of replies. I have been praying and pleading and He seems not caring at all. So I was at my lunatic best :) and gave two or three punches with much anger and I also beated the book to the cot many times.
I really feel like throwing the books and tearing the pages and throwing all the portraits in the river. I know I had to experience the similar things if I put them into action :) but at times I get that much angry on baba for His silence and not so caring replies.
I didn't visited the doctor for 3 long months and there was no medication at all. I thought this time doctor (homeopathy) will scold me and he may advice a small surgery. (My uncle has to undergo the same. My Uncle, My mother and Me got the same ailment - It is one of the types of Egzima).
I thought 'Baba, I beated you. So you let me visit chennai and then you punish me as such. Ok. This time I do not fear. Let thy will prevail. But please baba. Let the doctor not scold me and give only medicines but not any injection or surgery. Tell me baba. Did I beat you unnecessarily? You were playing pranks with me and you care damn for me so in that anger I retaliated as such. what is my mistake? I once again say, it is only your fault but not mine.) I have been saying to him as such.
Luckily doctor didn't scold me at all. He was more cool than before. I thanked HIM. Ofcourse I didn't keep my promise this time too. I said to HIM that I will complete one book of Sai Namam. But I didn't. So what is there with baba? It is my fault always and I deserve whatever baba gives.
As I am moody and lazy, I do not pray regularly. I pray whenever feel like. I claim like never bother such things for I always remember you and am conscious that you are there with me and you know my each and every thought. hmm...... one of the worst devotees any god can have. But baba is so kind that HE bears me and my Shaitaani.
Whatever, baba is baba. There is no doubt about that.
There was a small story. I have been quarreling with baba for a long time and on tuesday (July 12th) I beated him. Means I gave punches on his image in the book. I was so angry that baba is not answering me at all and if at all he gives, the same old and gramphone recorded sort of replies. I have been praying and pleading and He seems not caring at all. So I was at my lunatic best :) and gave two or three punches with much anger and I also beated the book to the cot many times.
I really feel like throwing the books and tearing the pages and throwing all the portraits in the river. I know I had to experience the similar things if I put them into action :) but at times I get that much angry on baba for His silence and not so caring replies.
I didn't visited the doctor for 3 long months and there was no medication at all. I thought this time doctor (homeopathy) will scold me and he may advice a small surgery. (My uncle has to undergo the same. My Uncle, My mother and Me got the same ailment - It is one of the types of Egzima).
I thought 'Baba, I beated you. So you let me visit chennai and then you punish me as such. Ok. This time I do not fear. Let thy will prevail. But please baba. Let the doctor not scold me and give only medicines but not any injection or surgery. Tell me baba. Did I beat you unnecessarily? You were playing pranks with me and you care damn for me so in that anger I retaliated as such. what is my mistake? I once again say, it is only your fault but not mine.) I have been saying to him as such.
Luckily doctor didn't scold me at all. He was more cool than before. I thanked HIM. Ofcourse I didn't keep my promise this time too. I said to HIM that I will complete one book of Sai Namam. But I didn't. So what is there with baba? It is my fault always and I deserve whatever baba gives.
As I am moody and lazy, I do not pray regularly. I pray whenever feel like. I claim like never bother such things for I always remember you and am conscious that you are there with me and you know my each and every thought. hmm...... one of the worst devotees any god can have. But baba is so kind that HE bears me and my Shaitaani.
Whatever, baba is baba. There is no doubt about that.
posted by saigeetika | 5:22 AM
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