Sudden Surprise after the Chennai Trip
Immediately after coming from Chennai, I mean on Monday, Vani akka (my roommate when I was studying M.Sc. She is a good friend of mine) , called me to her house as her mother came. Somehow I felt an urge to go there. Leg is still paining and my mother also not feeling well. But I insisted on going there.
We alighted the bus near JNTU and rang to her to pick us up as we dont' know her house. She came and when we are about to sit in the auto I saw a banner about Satsangam. I wished to go to it. Because I have been longing to attend a Satsang in hyd. But was not possible so far. Though my mother denied, I pressured and me and Vani akka came to Satsang after going to her house.
When we came to Satsang, I came to know that it was of Sri Purna Chandra Rao garu from Vizag. We sat there for sometime and someone are singing bhajans. After sometime I went before the platform to pray to Baba's murthy. You believe it or not, there were padukas of 9 avadhutas. I don't know about it. I was really amazed. I thanked HIM. Later the satsang started and I came to know that Avadhuta Gopal Baba just left the place few min back. Then I thought 'Oh, I missed HIM'. Anyway I was not that much sad because it is only me who used to say to Baba that I do not need darshan of any avadhutas. Baba, Master garu, Venkaiah Swamy are enough for me. May be that is why baba did not let me have the darshan of gopal baba and Amma of Maruvattur.
Even in the Satsang, Sri PurnaChandra Rao narrated the incident of Parvatesudu, by whose field Sri Gurudu used to go and when the lord asks HIM what HE wants, he replies that God should bless HIS field by walking there and eventually god tests HIS belief and devotion and blesses him accordingly. I felt like the message was 'Have faith even though the present situation seems to be completely dark'. But I am angry on this message too. Why should HE feel that I do not have faith in HIM. I have but HE only is playing with my feelings by saying 'Kabhi Ha, Kabhi Na'. These days I am feeling very restless and getting much angry on HIM.
We alighted the bus near JNTU and rang to her to pick us up as we dont' know her house. She came and when we are about to sit in the auto I saw a banner about Satsangam. I wished to go to it. Because I have been longing to attend a Satsang in hyd. But was not possible so far. Though my mother denied, I pressured and me and Vani akka came to Satsang after going to her house.
When we came to Satsang, I came to know that it was of Sri Purna Chandra Rao garu from Vizag. We sat there for sometime and someone are singing bhajans. After sometime I went before the platform to pray to Baba's murthy. You believe it or not, there were padukas of 9 avadhutas. I don't know about it. I was really amazed. I thanked HIM. Later the satsang started and I came to know that Avadhuta Gopal Baba just left the place few min back. Then I thought 'Oh, I missed HIM'. Anyway I was not that much sad because it is only me who used to say to Baba that I do not need darshan of any avadhutas. Baba, Master garu, Venkaiah Swamy are enough for me. May be that is why baba did not let me have the darshan of gopal baba and Amma of Maruvattur.
Even in the Satsang, Sri PurnaChandra Rao narrated the incident of Parvatesudu, by whose field Sri Gurudu used to go and when the lord asks HIM what HE wants, he replies that God should bless HIS field by walking there and eventually god tests HIS belief and devotion and blesses him accordingly. I felt like the message was 'Have faith even though the present situation seems to be completely dark'. But I am angry on this message too. Why should HE feel that I do not have faith in HIM. I have but HE only is playing with my feelings by saying 'Kabhi Ha, Kabhi Na'. These days I am feeling very restless and getting much angry on HIM.
posted by saigeetika | 4:52 AM
1 Comments:
hai saigeetika
i have read ur experience and i feel iam in same situation like ur's
iam searching for a satsang place give me the address of satsang
my email:srinivas.tetali@gmail.com
cell:9440417153
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