Baba and Bunking School

This blog is about my initial experiences with Baba after my first trip to Shirdi. At that time, we even used to do Satsanghs in our new house. Later on some how for one reason or other, we stopped.

My dad is a sales manager and so he has to tour all over Andhra and near by states. My mother is a school teacher. My younger brother is used to study in our old school (where my uncle is working as a teacher). I had to shift to another school after 5th standard. As I changed the school, I didn't enjoy it because I had a very good attachment with teachers and friends in the old school and I didn't feel like going to the new school. Thus I became a bunker of school.

Two points here from the previous blogs. It was engraved in my mind that we can speak to god heart in heart and he listens to it. The second one is if anyone ask Baba a question, one can get answer if one opens Sai Leelamrutam. (It even applies to any book written by Sri Ekkirala Bharadwaja. This is my own experience).

As I am not interested in going to school, I used to open Sai Leelamrutam asking 'Baba, shall I bunk the school today?'. At that time, Sai Leelamrutam's first edition is only there. I used to open it. There it was an incident of 'Megha'. Megha has a habit of performing Abhishekam to the lords of all temples and at last to Baba. One day as the Khamdoba mandir is closed, he comes to Baba to perform the Abhishekam. Then Baba tell to him that 'We shouldn't change our daily routine for any reason whatsoever. Now go, the temple will be open by this time'. In telugu the sentence is like 'Alayam teravabadi umtumdi vellu'. The new page starts with 'badi umtundi vellu' whereas 'Alayam teruva' in the previous page.

Amazing fact is whenever I used to ask Baba about bunking school, I always get this page saying 'Badi umtumdi vellu'. I am initially very thrilled when the answer was so appropriate that Baba is giving answers to me. The heart then is very inquisitive and god believer child. But I used to disappoint that Baba didn't permit me to bunk. Anyway sometimes, I still bunk for the fear and used to say 'Sorry' to Baba. Nevertheless he converses with me and answered me whenever I questioned HIM.

Shirdi in Hyderabad

This is about a dream where in Baba showed me that the place where Ammagaru (Smt. Alivelu Mangatayaru, Wife of Sri Ekkirala Bharadwaja) resides is itself Shirdi.

To discuss about this dream, I need to share about my trip to shirdi on June 26th, 2004. After two weeks of my trip, I got a dream and in that I am in Shirdi. I was thinking like, 'Only few days back I visited shirdi, who took me again. With whom I came here?' etc.,

Suddenly I saw two of my colleagues standing somewhere (I have been going to all places in the Shirdi like Samadhi Mandir, Dwarakamayi, Chavadi, Gurusthan etc., and meanwhile this thought came to me). These two people Mr. Chandra Sekhar and Mr. Ravi Dandu are to me like Saibaba only. No one ever get such a colleagues. (I can't say them just friends because the feeling is more of a respect towards elderly people rather than of a close association with friends. Ofcourse they are only elder to me 5 to 6 yrs.) I thought 'How come I came to Shirdi with these people? I thought to come to shirdi the next time with my parents and brother and if possible, to bring my relatives too.' Suddenly the dream disappeared.

I know that Ammagaru is staying in hyd from long back but never thought of visiting her feeling like I am a sinner and I am not eligible to have her darshan. (The reason is though I have good association with Baba right from my childhood, I never aspire (still not) to be a Sadhaka etc., I always feel HIM as my friend and irritate/disturb HIM with my wishes. Also I am not a devotee of pujas. I never cared to be serious enough and do daily parayana or poojas. I just do them whenever I feel like. But she is the person who shuns everything and has no desire at all. I have great respect for her. It is like a fear filled with devotion.).

I rang to my house for her address (it was sunday). I asked her address for Sri S. Subbarao garu, a noted journalist and an astrologer. He too reads Bharadwaja gari books and showed interest to visit Ammagaru as he also stays in Malkajgiri. I was in no way thinking of visiting her. I went to my office (I used to go to my office as it is like my second home. I also didn't like to stay in hostel. So most of the time I used to be in my office (now I changed my job) only.)
After 4 pm, suddenly I felt very restless and something in me is urging me to visit ammagaru. I don't know why but I couldn't resist the feeling. It was already 4:30 pm. My office is in SR Nagar and we have to change two buses to go to Malkajgiri. So I thought of ringing first and know the timings and thought that if I am blessed enough, I can have her darshan. (Because it is sunday and I wasted the whole day. I don't know the visiting hours etc., I doubt that it might close by evening that to on a sunday). I rang and to my surprise I came to know that visiting hours are 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm only.

Mr. Ravi has relatives in Malkajgiri and he can accompany me while going but to return, I should come alone that to in the night. What to do? Anyway I decided to go and as the visiting hours are ok, I wished to go at any cost. Then my other colleague, Chandra garu said that he also will come so that he can be with me upto SR Nagar and he can drop me in my hostel later. Thats how we had ammagari darshan.

There I found Saibaba magazine's copy. (My father is one of the subscribers and I used to read it regularly. But after coming to hyderabad, I couldn't read them). I opened it. To my surprise, I got a very good message like 'All your sorrow is wiped out'. I didn't remember the exact message but it sounded so. These people stayed outside only. I did prayer and thanked god for HIS blessings. I began reading the Saibaba magazine.

But still these people didn't come inside. I am praying Baba that why not He blessing them who are instrumental in getting me Ammagari darshan. Immediately they came inside and they bowed to ammagaru too. So I am happy that they too got blessings and prasadam. After coming out of the house, it flashed to me that may be this is what the dream I got and the place itself Shirdi. Until then, I didn't get that thought. So I am very happy. (Ofcourse I am a big sinner that my feelings never get convinced and I couldn't visit more than 2 times out of the fear which I mentioned earlier. Recently I visited again on Apr' 15th.)

Ammagaru, like Bharadwaja master garu, never answers questions. Whatever be the problem of the devotees, they will listen to them compassionately and their reply is always 'Pray to Baba. Do parayana.' Though they have divine powers, they never exhibit them. They always remained as Baba's humble devotees. Anyone can visit the 'Alivelu Manga Sahita Bharadwaja Nilayam' in Malkajgiri. It is near to Malkajgiri Police Station. After police station one has to turn left and then right. The house is the 3rd one.

The visiting hours are 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm. There will be Bhajan on Thursdays and she will not talk to anyone on thursdays. Remaining days anyone can talk to her. There are big photos of Shirdi Saibaba, Dattatreya Swami and Bharadwaja Master garu and one can experience a revered feeling in her presence.

B'day Gift

June 26th is my b'day. After M.Sc., I used to ask Baba that what gift HE would give me on my b'day. I didn't get any response. May be when every second is HIS gift, what is there one should ask for? or else I might not have noticed.

Last year, I thought of visiting Shirdi. But at that time there was no chance for me to go to Shirdi. I haven't given much thought to that wish feeling that it is not possible. As usual that year also I asked Baba that what gift HE would give me that year. HE kept silent. My aunt came to hyd with her family for a training. I know that they have a plan to visit Shirdi. But I haven't thought at all that I too will go with them. I wished to go to Nellore, my native place, to visit my parents.

I went to my another aunt's house in the city to which my aunt from Cheepurupalli came. Suddenly my aunt asked me 'Will you come to shirdi with me?' For a second I couldn't believe this leela of God. Actually all my aunts (my mother's sisters) love us (me an d my brother more than their children). But I never got an idea to go on a pilgrimage with them. I asked my aunt that when are they planning to go to Shirdi? It is on June 26th, exactly on my b'day I would be there in Shirdi. My joy knew no bounds. I was overwhelmed. It is such a strange feeling. We cannot even express. I immediately agreed and then told my aunt about my wish few days back to visit Shirdi. I also told her that this trip is Baba's gift to me on my b'day and HE is giving that through my aunt.

On that day, I got severe stomach ache and gastric trouble that I can't go in queue with my aunt's family and was late in the queue. As I visited Shirdi 3 times before and I know shirdi well, my aunt didn't worry about me. Because of that problem and being late in the queue, I could stay in the main Samadhi Mandhir itself for exactly 45 minutes and pray. No one can ever imagine that one can get such a chance with the rush in Shirdi.

[ The same day we visited Sani Singanapur too. (Sani/Saturn is my lagna lord and also stays in my 7th house and I am also running Sade Sathi). That happened to be my 26th b'day. (I was born on 26th June, 1979). According to my horoscope, my chart is afflicted by nodes. Rahu in 7th house and Ketu in 1st house and all the other planets are in between 1st and 7th houses. This is Kalasarpa Yoga and its effect would stay either for 26 yrs or 35 yrs. So in that way also, the 26th b'day is of some significance. In many ways, I can never forget this year. ]

We started on 27th evening and reached hyd on 28th morning. I prayed to Baba that next time I should come to Shirdi with my parents and brother. (He fulfilled within 1 year and I visited Shirdi on March 24th this year, which is my brother's b'day. This is also an unplanned trip. We stayed there for 4 days. Started on Mar 23rd evening and returned on 28th morning.)

Though everything went on well, I didn't get any message from Baba. For that I was very disappointed. Anyway, my trip to Shirdi is the most cherished b'day gifts and I will remember it all my life. I thank my aunty too.

Baba's visit to our house

On Apr 15th, 2005, Baba came to our house as he told me few days back. Let me say that we, in our family, are not so anxious to see Baba in flesh or in dream. We are always contended by looking at Baba in his photos. But I am quarrelling with Baba and HE stopped talking to me from long back. Ever since I am not well emotionally. Though HE does the things for me, I feel very empty.

One day I was browsing through the NET and am constantly asking HIM to come to me once and answer my questions. I prayed to Baba and clicked on one of the old newsletters of saidarbar.org. There Baba assured to someone in Dubai that HE will visit him on Apr 15th, 2004. I think HE told me that on 9th or 10th.

I shared this news only with my parents and to my aunt and to one of my well wishers. Apr 15th dawned. I asked my mother to prepare something that Baba likes. She brought Cova (Peda) and also thought of preparing Chapatis. I came to office as usual. My brother used to bring lunch for me as I am not feeling well. I asked him at 12:30 PM if baba came and he replied 'No'. I felt somewhat disappointed and thought that Baba stopped giving messages to me and it is simply my illusion that I felt like HE promised that he will visit us. (I shouldn't have taken something that I browsed in NET as Baba's message. I thought so. It was my mistake and not Baba's.) But I nurtured some hope that may be Baba will come in the evening. I prayed to HIM that if HE doesn't want me to see HIM, HE can atleast visit my house in my absence and can bless our parents and brother so that atleast I can feel like Baba is still giving me messages.

Later I had my lunch in the office. At 2:15 PM my mother rang to me and informed that Baba came to my house. She was reading a book on Bharadwaja master. Exactly between 1:30 and 1:35 PM, a deaf and dumb boy came. She just nodded her head and asked the boy to leave. But he requested for water and my mother told that 'water is not cool'. He still insisted and she gave him water and the boy left. As soon as he left, my mother remembered my words and she felt very sorry. When she came out that boy was leaving and is downstairs. Somehow she felt like, he might not be Baba. But still she felt restless and so she prayed to HIM that 'Baba, if it is you who came, please come again. Let me give the Prasad which I wished to give'.

Suddenly that boy came again without any call. Then my mother invited HIM inside, gave 2 rs as dakshina and also the Cova. (At that time she hasn't prepared Chapatis). When she narrated me, I felt happy and somehow tears rolled down my cheeks. I wept like anything (Ofcourse I went down and wept in restroom). As soon as I came to my desk, one of my colleagues gave me Shirdi Prasadam as he returned from Shirdi the same day. I was really overjoyed.

Then when I see the page before me, it was 'saibharadwaja.org' and there a message flashed like '15th is the Mahasamadhi Tithi of Sri Ekkirala Bharadwaja'. Immediately I decided to visit 'Malkajgiri' where 'Ammagaru' (wife of Sri Ekkirala Bharadwaja, Smt. Alivelu Manga Tayaru) resides. My brother also came with me. We started after our office timings. It so happened that, I didn't consumed my tiffin that morning. I have 4 idlis with me. I prayed to Baba that as I couldn't see HIM when HE came to my home, I will give this idlis to any old man and feel like I fed HIM.

I boarded the bus and I am chanting some sloka and am somewhat unconscious to the environment in the bus and though I took the fare of 6 rs in my hands, I forgot to take a ticket. Later after two or three stages, I gave money to the conductor. I thought he might scold me. But strangely he told me that, he closed the tickets for the stage where I boarded and took only 4 rs. I thought 'Ok. Baba has given me 2 rs. I should give this to the same old man whom I would give the idlis'.

As soon as we stepped down at Sec'bad, I saw a good looking old man. He wore a white shirt and a green kanduva. As green is the favourite color of Baba and Bharadwaja master garu, I decided to give money to this man. (Actually he stretched His hand before me). I don't know if he was about to ask the passengers who stepped out of the bus. But I gave him 2 rs and asked him if he would take idlis from me. He said yes and I gave him the idlis too. He murmured that 'Enough for this day'. (imkemumdi, ivaaltiki saripoyimdi kadaa).

Then I visited Ammagaru and there are few devotees and there was a pooja and I prayed wholeheartedly to Baba and Bharadwaja master garu and ammagaru. They served food and we ate it and I took some prasadam for my parents too in the carraige box. (I thought only to take prasadam to my parents, I got the idea of taking it and giving idlis to an old man). So I returned home happily.

My mother was also happy because she has been feeling sorry for not preparing chapathis. She thought to give 4 chapathis and when I told her that I gave 4 idlis to an old man, she felt satisfied.

Also that day, the dakshina we gave counted to 15 rs. My mother gave 2 rs to the boy (Baba we feel) and my brother gave 2 rs to ammagaru and myself 11 rs. So we felt it is a coincidence.
This is our first experience wherein Baba Himself told that HE will come to our house and visited.

Actually on 10th, we visited some other ardent devotee of baba (this is also happened only because of baba's grace) and I thought of visiting ammagaru too the same day. As there was no time, we couldn't visit her and I felt disappointed. So baba acknowledged my wish and granted her darsan on the auspicious Mahasamadhi day of Bharadwaja Master garu.

(I will write another blog about how Baba told me few months back that the place where ammagaru resides is itself Shirdi).

On first return from Shirdi

After our return from Shirdi, we used to sing Aratis to Baba. Sejarati was a must then. Our neighbours who are just separated by a wall used to complain to us that we should sing in a low voice. (Except my mother, all the 3 of us have loud voice. and our hymns at 10 PM disturbed our neighbours a lot.

Still I am lazy to wake up early. That to, to take morning bath in the early hours is very alien to me (except in rare occasions). Except for the Kakad Arati (though we sing occasionally when we get up early), remaining all aratis were byhearted by me. I used to sing afternoon aarati, heart in heart (because god can listen. right :)) in school.

Still I know only the other 3 Aratis but not the Kakad Arati.

My first trip to Shirdi

When I was studying 5th class, we visited Shirdi. I think it was Jan 89. Mornings were problematic for me because it was very cold and my parents woke me up for Kakad Arati. We used to stand on the platform at the rear end of the Samadhi Mandir. I still remember very much. I used to sit and sleep everytime I heard 'Sachidananda Sadguru Sainath Maharaj Ki Jai' and my father lift me up and made me stand saying that Arati is not completed. Because for me 'Sachidananda Sadguru Sainath Maharaj Ki Jai' is the conclusion of the Arati and that I can sleep, atleast sit.

We visited all the nearby places there and also the houses of the disciples Mahalsapati, Shama, Lakshmibai Shinde etc., I was neither curious nor indifferent but just looked at the place like anything but of some interest to listen to all that my parents say about Baba. I like history a lot and I wish to know about the incidents, places of importance etc.,

One day while sitting in the Dwarakamayi, I overheard my father saying to some other devotees there that if anybody has any question, they can pray to Baba and open the Sai Leelamrutam book and they will get the answer for it. It was imprinted in me.

Later on our return trip we visited Acharya Ekkirala Bharadwaja of Ongole. I very much feared to meet him. My dad always used to praise him and used to tell that he is a saint. Why I fear is that as he is a saint and he knows everything, he will tell all my mischievous things to my parents and they will scold me :))

Usually at that time, I could visualize the future happenings in dreams. I could recollect only when the thing happened that 'Hey, I saw the same picture in that dream'. My father told about it to Master garu. He looked at me. He asked me how do I feel then, what I visualised etc., Actually that evening setup also was exactly the same as in one of my dreams. I told him the same. He told that there is nothing to worry and it sometimes happen and I can just forget.

I have very much respect for Sri Bharadwaja garu. Incidentally I am the first person in my house to know of the demise/Mahasamadhi of Bharadwaja garu. We received a telegram and in that it was written 'Bharadwaja garu expired'. At that time I don't know the meaning of 'expired'. I asked the postman what is the meaning of it. When he told, I was very sorry.

Friday Meeting of Gods

We used to sing bhajans of Saibaba. Every night there used to be power cut and we used to sing the bhajans when the power is cut. By the time we complete all the bhajan songs, the power is resumed. My aunt used to tell me that, if we pray to god sincerely god will bring power. My voice is very loud and sound. I used to sing loudly. My aunt told me that I need not sing loud and god can listen even if we talk with HIM heart in heart (This statement of her was engraved in my heart).

I used to fear the darkness a lot when I was a child (Ofcourse now I love it). One friday, even when we completed all the bhajan songs, the power was not resumed. I cried why the power was not resumed? Why god didn't listen to our songs?

She told that on fridays, all gods will keep a meeting and the place is very far away, so god cannot hear our prayer. I asked her, you told me that god can hear even if we talk in our heart also, but how come HE cannot hear that day.

I did not remember what she replied but somehow from then I am very scary of fridays (because god could not listen to me on fridays). This psychological fear continued for many years till 9th class or so. Every friday for some reason or other, I used to weep. Friday was the most dreaded day for me during my childhood.

I didn't remember how and when exactly the feeling and the fear disappeared.

Introduction

Baba - Pranam to HIS Charan

I am blessed to be born in a family of Sai devotees. Right from my childhood I know HIM as god. I just used to fold hands and close my eyes and used to say 'Saibaba'. Thats it. When I look back, this incident is the basic one I suppose.

We used to stay at my maternal grandparents' house. My grandfather is an ardent devotee of Shirdi Sai Baba. One day no one were present in the house. There was a big hall and Baba's photo is there at the wall above the door.

My grandfather sat in the middle of the room exactly in between the two doors (all the doors of all the rooms are linear. It is a vastu principle that, if you look from the front gate, the 'Tulsi Plant' in the backyard should be visible.)

He called me and I went to HIM. He told me then by asking me to look at the Baba's picture at the back on the wall. 'See that picture of Baba. You have to pray HIM. There is no one else other than HIM. No mother, no father, no brother, no grandma and grandpa, aunts, uncles etc.' Forget all of them and just pray to HIM only. You should remember HIM only.'

You believe it or not, I am at a very tender age then. I was born on Jun 26th, 1979 and he died on Apr 18, 1984. I was hardly 5 years then. I couldn't understand why was he saying so to me. I got tears when he said, 'forget about your parents'. But somehow I couldn't show my tears to him. I just nodded my head as if I listened to him.